Sexual Trauma Recovery: Resilience for Survivors

Sexual Trauma Recovery: Resilience for Survivors

What does sexual trauma recovery look like? How do we build resilience for survivors?

After surviving sexual assault, sexual abuse, and domestic violence, survivors have a road of trauma recovery laid before them.  Walking this path can help build resilience for survivors in powerful ways. Sexual trauma recovery can be challenging and painful, and lead us to access our own inner strength and resilience as survivors.

Trauma survivor symptoms

Trauma survivors often experience these symptoms:

  • uncontrollable memories

  • dissociation or disconnection from the body and mind

  • uncomfortable or triggering body sensations

  • distancing from friends and family

  • scanning the space around them

  • avoiding crowds and public spaces

  • panic attacks

  • anxiety

  • depression

  • difficulty sleeping

  • difficulty eating

  • mood swings

Trauma Survivor Examples

Some examples of trauma survivors include everyone, as we know that 1 in 3 women, 1 in 5 men, and 1 in 2 trans people experience sexual trauma in their lifespan, trauma survivors come from all identities and walks of life. Trauma survivors are your coworkers, friends, family members, children, grandparents, parents, and all around badasses.

Trauma survivors often have experienced multiple traumatic incidents throughout their life, possibly including traumatic or abusive relationships and environments as well.  The accumulation of multiple traumas compounds the impact and symptoms. This can result in trauma survivors developing PTSD (Posttraumatic Stress Disorder), Anxiety, Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder. This means that many trauma survivors might feel big emotional changes, difficulty connecting in relationships, intense worry, depressed mood, low energy, difficulty sleeping and feel unable to regain a sense of being grounded or safety in themselves. Many trauma survivors feel isolated and lonely even when they have friends and family around.

Trauma survivors can function in varying ways and places. Many trauma survivors are able to work, maintain a home, and take care of themselves. Many trauma survivors find work incredibly difficult and self care nearly impossible.  Trauma survivors are not a monolith, and there is significant diversity in how survivors function in life. It can be incredibly important to show trauma survivors empathy, compassion, and validation for wherever they are in their trauma recovery.

What is trauma healing?

Trauma healing is the process trauma survivors go through to reduce their trauma symptoms, process trauma experiences, and connect to their long term goals for life. Trauma healing can help trauma survivors heal trauma wounds, feel safe in their body and world, and help identify important life goals to make life worth living again. Trauma healing can involve many varied approaches including traditional therapy, medical treatment, spiritual practices, body based healing, and social support.

How long does trauma take to heal?

The time it takes for trauma to heal differs from person to person as each trauma survivor has different experiences, symptoms, and aftereffects. The aftereffects of sexual trauma can include anything the trauma survivor had to experience as part of surviving trauma including doctors appointments, law enforcement, invalidation and victim blaming, loss of friendships, job loss, moving homes.  All of these aftereffects add stressors and can compound the effect trauma has on a trauma survivor. With effective trauma therapy and social support, the time it takes for trauma to heal can be much shorter. Effective trauma therapy and social support will look different for each trauma survivor, and depends on what kind of trauma therapy is a good fit for them. 


Sexual trauma recovery

Recovering from sexual trauma can be a frightening task ahead of us, many survivors hesitate to start. Sexual trauma is very personal and vulnerable, and many survivors have experienced compounding aftereffects and fear victim blaming and invalidation. Many sexual trauma survivors find help through bringing together many different healing supports to meet all their different needs, this can include:

  • Trauma therapy

    • Trauma therapy can involve many different approaches that have been shown to be effective treating sexual trauma. This might include EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy), Prolonged Exposure, group therapy, and traditional talk therapy.

As well, many trauma survivors also connect with additional sexual trauma recovery resources including: 

  • Support Groups

  • Spiritual counseling and communities

  • Massage therapy

  • Trauma informed yoga

  • Energy healing and Reiki

  • Art therapy

  • Self defense classes

  • anything that feels safe, grounding, healing

How to deal with sexual abuse trauma and sexual assault trauma

The first thing to help deal with sexual abuse trauma and sexual assault trauma is to get safe.  Getting safe can be getting physically safe, away from any threatening or harmful people and situations, staying in a safe place, and taking care of your basic needs. This might require a trauma survivor to getting connected with community resources or shelters in order to have a safe space to stay, staying with friends or safe family members, getting food services and hygiene products. Physical safety can also look like finding a space where the trauma survivor feels calm and grounded, a safe haven to come back to after stressful days and times. Making the environment around a trauma survivor a soothing and comforting place can really help.

Safety to deal with sexual trauma also includes creating emotional safety. Emotional safety means learning and practicing coping skills to weather emotional storms, help reduce stress and get calm after being triggered. When the body and brain both feel safe from intense emotions, healing sexual trauma can happen.

Coping skills for sexual trauma

  • Deep breathing

  • 5-4-3-2-1 grounding

  • Cold face compress

  • Deep pressure

Deep Breathing: Inhale for six counts, gently pause between the inhale and exhale. Exhale for 10 counts. Lengthen the time count for each breath as your breath calms and slows.

5-4-3-2-1 grounding: Name out loud things in your environment that you detect with your senses

5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can touch, 2 things you can smell, 1 thing you can taste

Cold face compress: place an ice pack or bag of ice cubes or frozen fruit on your face over the area of your temples and cheek bones. Hold for 10 -15 seconds, then remove for a a breath, place back on the area for another 10-15 seconds.  After 30 seconds or so of cold contact, the mammalian dive reflex occurs, calming the nervous system.

Deep pressure: place a weighted blanket or shoulder pad around your shoulders, on your lap or feet.  If you don’t have a weighted blanket or shoulder pad, place heavy bags of rice or grain, heavy books, on your lap or feet. Deep pressure calms the nervous system.

One of the most powerful coping skills for sexual trauma is through connecting to safe social support. Many trauma survivors get a lot of help dealing with sexual trauma through supportive relationships.  Friendships, support groups (I host one in Santa Monica! check it out here), therapists, community groups, social groups (like a book club, athletic team) where the trauma survivor feels validated and supported will help immensely with recovery from sexual trauma. Social support is always the most effective tool for sexual trauma recovery. Connect with peers in support groups, practice connecting with friends by sharing personal feelings with them matched with the degree of trust you have with them. 

Want to learn more about YOUR specific trauma recovery style? Take the QUIZ and get unique skills specific to you!


Sexual Trauma Recovery: Resilience for Survivors

Sexual trauma recovery is very possible for survivors! If you want to start therapy today, sign up to work with me here. I offer trauma therapy with multiple approaches to best meet the needs of trauma survivors. You can sign up for my mailing list to get tips for trauma recovery right to your mailbox. You can also listen to my podcast, Initiated Survivor, anywhere you hear podcasts. Follow me on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and Youtube to get awesome survivor content.

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