3 Stages of Trauma Recovery (part two)
Three stages of trauma recovery are what we generally see in any recovery process from an observational standpoint. Whether intentional or unintentional, we find that these stages are consistent and best facilitate a process of moving from victim to survivor or from surviving to THRIVING!
The three stages of trauma recovery include:
Establishing safety
Remembrance and mourning
Integration and reconnections
This blog post is the second part of the two-part 3 Stages of Trauma Recovery series. If you haven’t already read the first blog post, click HERE to catch up!
Part one of 3 Stages of Trauma Recovery primarily discusses the emotional tone of recovery and the emotional arch that survivors typically go through after experiencing a traumatic event.
This second part of 3 stages of trauma recovery is dedicated to the three main stages of recovery according to Judith Herman in her book Trauma and Recovery. I explain how these stages inform each other as we process each and how to go from victim to survivor.
These three stages of trauma recovery are what we generally see in any recovery process from an observational standpoint. Whether intentional or unintentional, we find that these stages are consistent and best facilitate a process of moving from victim to survivor or from surviving to THRIVING!
The three stages of trauma recovery include:
Establishing safety
Remembrance and mourning
Integration and reconnection
Psychologists and therapists believe that all stages are always active, even when we might be focusing primarily on one more than the others.
For example, establishing safety must come first because we need physical and emotional safety in our environment and selves in order to do the rest of the recovery work. That said, this step, like the others, is something that we will always revisit throughout our lives.
The stages of trauma recovery are very similar to the stages of emotional tone. It will seem linear, but every stage will be present at any given time.
Establishing Safety in Trauma Therapy
Establishing safety in trauma therapy is the very first stage and is crucial to recovery. Whether you’re entering therapy or some other intervention method, establishing safety is always going to be the first thing that we need to check in on. Safety is represented in two ways:
External safety:
Typically what I do with my clients, and something I believe is important to focus on first, is external safety. External safety is safety in our surroundings or real, practical things we do to establish physical safety.
If someone is not living in a safe space, if they are still in a harmful or threatening relationship or environment, if there is still trauma happening to or around them, there is no other work to do.
It is not helpful to them, their body, or the situation to do any internal work until that external safety is established. Getting to a safe space to live or stay, getting access to financial resources, getting basic needs met, and getting physical rest are all important for external safety.
Internal safety:
Losing a sense of internal safety happens when an individual feels like they’ve lost a certain amount of control or governance over their choices.
Internal safety is being able to experience your emotions, being able to tolerate processing painful memories, being able to stay grounded and present in your body and your mind, etc.
Someone whose internal safety has not been established may be more emotionally dysregulated, feeling overwhelmed or out of control when intense emotions rise to the surface. This can also look like intense amounts of dissociation, feeling checked out, quiet, or not entirely present.
Not having internal safety can also be expressed through other trauma symptoms - having intrusive memories or flashbacks, hyperarousal, or always feeling on guard. Certain triggering topics may also cause this individual to retreat.
To combat this lack of internal safety, we must find a way to regulate emotions, feel centered and grounded, and manage coping and soothing painful emotions.
This can also mean having to tolerate these painful emotions by learning certain skills and exercises so the acuity of the emotion is much lower. At least low enough for the individual to be able to get through it without engaging in harmful behavior or feeling like our life has to be put on hold in some way, shape, or form.
We also teach skills to stay present so dissociation doesn’t happen. Remaining mindful of the indicators of going into dissociative episodes is powerful for establishing internal safety.
Trauma survivors are constantly checking in on their safety. They live every day assessing the need for safety and trying to establish it. This is just a part of surviving trauma. Our bodies and minds have been altered to now assess for safety constantly.
If you developed PSTD, your brain is now stuck in a place where it still feels unsafe or in a place of danger despite that it is not. That prolonged experience of the fight, flight, or freeze system is now having lasting effects on how the world is perceived and experienced; safety being a key part of that.
What we’re going to see throughout trauma recovery is that we will always come back to safety in various ways. Recovery will activate our experience around issues with safety.
As we take on more complex experiences in our lives, they will be through the perspective and lens of safety. Reengaging in relationships will also bring up issues around safety, which is why the skills we learn during this stage are so important. They allow us to enter into the next stages.
Remembrance and Mourning:
Remembrance and mourning is how we process trauma in therapy, a retelling of the experience and a shaping of our narrative around it.
In a much more broad term, this phase is about connecting back into one’s body sensations - to move and awaken certain body parts that might be holding that trauma - so you can release and move through them to carry out the response that we’d expect to see.
It is not a re-experiencing.
Research shows that processing trauma in therapy does not necessarily require a verbal recitation of what happened. This can be done in various ways that feel more intuitive and instinctual.
Some of these methods of processing trauma include:
Creating music or art about the experience
Telling stories or writing
Sharing with other people what happened
Connecting with other survivors
These are all wonderful examples of how an individual can piece together and understand what happened. Through these methods, one can discover their narrative and how it fits into who they are and their greater life narrative.
Want to learn more about YOUR specific trauma recovery style? Take the QUIZ and get unique skills specific to you!
Remembrance and mourning is a place of allowing ourselves to observe what happened as if we are saying to ourselves, “I see your injuries. I see the harm. I know what you have survived, and I’m so sorry you had to.”
Mourning may also come with rage, denial, bargaining, or the other typical stages of grief. It is normal to feel all these things as we start to account for what happened to us.
Having a therapist during this time or someone who can facilitate this remembrance and mourning process for you is really effective. I highly recommend licensed mental health professionals specifically trained to address these topics safely and have specific methods for helping you process trauma in therapy effectively. Be sure to see someone who won't put you at risk for retraumatization.
Ultimately, this stage is the process of sharing your story but facing it yourself first. This is also the stage commonly returned to when something triggering occurs.
For me, my mourning has to do a lot with losing my sense of self. There was a dramatic change that happened within me as part of developing PTSD. It felt like my brain was misaligned and was firing and experiencing the world differently. I wasn’t in tune with my sense of self or the things that were important to me.
It’s paramount to move through this stage with love, compassion, and respect for ourselves. There will be a lot of holding and nurturing ourselves and holding space to accept who we are in that moment.
Integration and Reconnection in Trauma Recovery
The next stage of trauma recovery is integration and reconnection, but I will discuss them separately.
Integration
To put it simply, integration is coming back to the integrity of ourselves, or seeing ourselves as whole again. The goal of this stage is to recognize that we are one complete person and to feel grounded in our sense of self, including the trauma(s) that happened to us.
It is a space where we reconnect to our personal values and goals and recognize that they may have shifted as a part of surviving and recovering from trauma. Certain aspects of ourselves may have been released or changed, different values may have taken priority or changed completely, or certain ways of being might be different about who we are.
The integration phase is where we acknowledge those shifts and maybe revisit the grief that accompanies these changes so we can come back to how we fully know and understand ourselves.
This is also a space where the process of resolving the trauma feels very fluid. We understand the experience as part of our story at large, we understand what happened and how it feeds into who/where we are now, but this doesn’t necessarily mean that we don’t have any negative feelings about the trauma anymore or are just “letting it go.”
Integration is a door that we continue to open as we go and as more of our genuine selves get expressed in our day-to-day lives. It is something we continue to work on.
We might revisit different trauma work as triggers come up. We might feel ourselves get to a place of realignment and have to revisit some of the remembrance and mourning or even safety as we learn more about how the trauma affected us, but overall, integration becomes a key phase to understanding ourselves as we link into a bigger picture.
Reconnection
The last stage of trauma recovery is reconnection. This an important phase of trauma recovery because we see very practically how isolating PTSD and trauma really is. We see how somebody experiencing these symptoms may feel like their brain has lost control or functioning, which causes them to isolate themselves from others.
Oftentimes we feel like we’re in so much danger, or we’re so stressed and anxious that it causes us to be SO tired! This makes individuals with PTSD feel like they have no room for relationships.
Reconnection is a place of coming back to those relationships.
Humans are social creatures. We are meant to interact and foster meaningful relationships with other humans. Our brain is set up to feel more at peace with the world and more connected when we are in relationships.
This stage is for reconnecting in a way that aligns with who you are and your values which is why it’s important to look at who you are specifically in relationships during the integration phase as well.
Reconnection is where you should evaluate your boundaries. Unfortunately, our society does not value survivors. Doubting survivors is so common that we constantly come into contact with a culture that denies and pushes us aside. Part of boundaries is learning how to develop relationships in this environment.
This may look like cutting people off completely, including friends and family. It’s up to you to decide how you want to move forward with past/current relationships and develop new ones in a way that respects yourself.
Reconnection is also about merging back into the greater web of life. Trauma isolates us from this web.
This stage of trauma healing is where we acknowledge that the world is filled with other survivors, other people, animals, and beings and discover how to weave ourselves back in as we are. Reconnecting with larger communities requires us to stand in knowing ourselves truly and offer ourselves up.
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The trauma recovery process is not linear. It is not a straight line. It’s not even a squiggly line.
These trauma recovery phases are different shades and different seasons that we experience. These stages work well together and will continue to surface in all areas of life.
The important message to take away is that recovery is always possible no matter what place you are in, and you can always start again. You do not have to “qualify” for recovery.
There is always time down the road to repair what needs to be repaired.
Want to learn more about YOUR specific trauma recovery style? Take the QUIZ and get unique skills specific to you!
If you want to start therapy today, sign up to work with me here. I offer trauma therapy with multiple approaches to best meet the needs of trauma survivors. You can sign up for my mailing list to get tips for trauma recovery right to your mailbox. You can also listen to my podcast, Initiated Survivor, anywhere you hear podcasts. Follow me on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and Youtube to get awesome survivor content.
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Until next time!
